Monday, July 20, 2009

ROBAANKS, An interview with...

Do you ever wake up in the morning with your mind stuck on a certain subject? Maybe you've just opened your eyes, and for the rest of your day you can't think of anything other than going on a vacation to Thailand. Or possibly you can't get it out of your head that, even though you already have a fully functioning bicyclette, you need a newer, lighter, faster one, with way more horns on it.
I think either that, or my extreme fascination of Rob Banks' bathroom habits, led to the questions in this interview.
Why would anyone want to know what Rob does with his toe nail clippings in the winter? Probably for the exact same reason you'd want to go to Thailand for vacation.
It's hot.

Steige: When was the last time you had a shower?

ROBAANKS: 20 minutes ago

S: Face cloth, or straight up soap to skin?

RB: Wash cloths are for girls.

S: Where do you clip your toe nails, and what do you do with them once they're no longer attached to your feet??

RB: In the winter I clip in the living room or the washroom. In the washroom they go directly into the toilet. In the living room they often go onto a plate or into a bowl and then in the garbage. In the summer I clip on my back steps and the nails stay outside.

S: Do you always wash your hands after you make pee?

RB: If I'm in a washroom, yes.

S: Okay, so I have a... friend... who has a pretty serious problem when it comes to biting my finger nails... his finger nails.... Why do you figure this is, and what's your advice for someone trying to quit?

RB: Way back when, I used to do it just 'cuz I was to lazy to clip 'em. START GROOMING THEM SHITS! Girls notice that kind of thing, and for good reason too.

S: Alright! So you've got yourself a date with the cutest girl in all of Whistler, when BAM! you realize that your underarms aren't as fresh as they should be. It's 8:45, all the stores are closed, and you're meeting your lady friend at 9pm sharp! What's your plan of action?

RB: Chill. There's tons of public washrooms all over town. Get your ass in one. Preferably one with paper toweling. If not, toilet paper will work in a pinch. Take that shirt right off, you don't want water marks on that M/F. Damp your pits, damp some folded towel, put soap on that towel, scrub pits, splash water up those pits, dry with dry towel, put your shirt back on, go get some son!

S: Easy as that! Anything else you'd like to mention? Maybe you'd like to tell us what you normally think about during the 2 minutes you spend brushing your teeth in the morning?

RB: When I'm brushing my teeth, that's my main focus. Floss, brush, mouthwash. Every day. Bad breath is THE best way to be shunned by fine females. I know for sure I am never taking no halitosis girl home. I do not care how hot she is. If the mouth smells bad.......

S: Then she's bound to not have a trust fund set up for her. I hear ya.

If you enjoyed this make sure to check out other "Bank" interviews in our Interview With Feet Banks!

Also, make sure to check out the ROBAANKS' video interview with about why he doesn't dig pasta stir sticks.