Thursday, January 8, 2009

Jan. 8th - Weekly Artist Interview - The Hunchback Esquire

The Hunchback Esquire. A rare breed indeed.
As elusive as the Abominable Snowman, but favored by children over candy cigarettes, chewing gum, and wriggly puppies, The Hunchback's 8+ years in the game have chiseled him out a unique "dream-scapes-set-over-break-beats" sound, as well as attracted the attention of many hungry MC's looking for canvases in which to paint their many ideas and words.
Hunchy was so kind as to answer a couple questions I sent his way. Here's what's on his mind today.
Click HERE to bring up his myspace in a separate window, so you can listen to his music while you read his words.

Steige: What 2 tapes are getting the most play in your Walkman right now?
Hunchback Esquire: The 2 tapes would have to be a mix tape, and the great British guru Donovan. You know... the Hurdy Gurdy man song? (Mellow Yellow, Wear Your Love Like Heaven) And the mix tape of course is various hip hop tracks.

S: Why?
HBE: Why? They give me peace of mind.

S: What is the worst job you've done?
HBE: My worst job was definitely Starbucks. The free coffee was cool but the fast food industry is just not for a hunchback ;) It was worse than dish washing at the olive garden.

S: Say you still worked at Starbucks, how would you relax after a long day of serving coffee to chumps like me?
HBE: I like to listen to music and puff ganja to relax. I also make beats and dig for samples... oh and I like to read as well.

S: What is your most treasured possession?
HBE: My most treasured possession is my catalog of beats I made!

S: Where does the name 'Hunchback Esquire' come from?
HBE: Able Danger (Debonaire Dreamer) called me a hunchback one day when I was making beats. That was about 8 years ago. Esquire just came to mind and I thought it sounded great. You think of a hunchback as a ugly disfigured ghoul and Esquire just added class, you know? Some prestige. It just stuck and I stuck with it. It used to be just The Hunchback.

S: What is the worst thing anyone's ever said to you? Has anybody ever told you that you don't actually have a hunched-back?
HBE: The worst thing anyone has ever said to me was that I was going to die a poor, lonely old man... harsh, huh?

S: Sounds like you didn't buy her chocolate on her birthday. It also sounds like most of your stuff is sampled. Yes? Do you play any instruments besides the sampler?
HBE: Ya I can play the guitar, the piano, any mpc beat machine, the drums and a mean harmonica when i get the blues ;)

S: Everyone really enjoyed the 2 tracks you did with us for our TimeZone album, 'History', and 'Summer Kids', and you've got a couple more beats on our upcoming album, "Understanding More About Nothing Than Anybody Ever Thought Impossible". Who are some of the other artists you've been working with lately?
HBE: A few. In fact I sold a few beats to a guy who lives in my city. I also work with the Defiant Intellex, including Quest, Invarious Nature, Earthtone, Kwash, and Adgafsofu Morrow... oh and of course Tweezy.

S: Anything else you want to say?
HBE: Ya, I really enjoy working with you guys. You dudes are genuine good souls and I'm blessed to have you guys rip on my beats. It's been a pleasure so far, I just hope my generosity is appreciated. I know you guys are doing real good with your music career, I just hope I get recognition and then some for my efforts. And I'm sorry i couldn't get the extended version of the caper. My program shat on me ;(

Thanks for all the love guys. I wish we could be closer friends. Cheers and God bless.

Caleb aka Hunchback aka The Beat Tailor aka Queen only on the weekends ;)

S: That being said, the Caper (music by Hunchback, featuring Mat the Alien on the cuts) just started playing on my Walkman, and the rough mix is sounding great! This track, as well as 12 others, (including 2 Hunchback beats,) are all set to be pressed on our upcoming album, 'Understanding More About Nothing Than Anybody Ever Thought Impossible, or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Music'.

Make sure to check back next week for more fun words from more fun artists!


If you enjoyed this, make sure to check out our hilarious interviews with Japanese 'rad' artist, Taka Sudo, and Ali Milner!
Don't feel like reading? Check out 5 Bad Album Covers!

Tuesday, January 6, 2009

BitchWaxCoverArt. Vol 1.

Choosing good album art isn't easy. Choosing bad album art, on the other hand, is very very easy.
My hat's off to these folks for taking absolutely no time whatsoever to come up with what will inevitably be people's first impression of them. Or for making their album art downright creepy.

Devastatin' Dave - The Turntable Slave

What can one say about Devastatin' Dave that hasn't already been said by the three bright neon words "ZIP ZAP RAP" plastered across his leather-bound crotch? This album is definitely going to get the party started, though it might not be the kind of party you want to make yourself a part of.

Orleans - Waking and Dreaming

These guys, on the other hand, look like they would love to be a part of that kind of party.

Wally Whyton - It's Me, Mum!

Featuring the hits: "Don't Send My Mother to Prison" and "1913 Massacre". WTF?! Who is this guy's target audience? Fucking Charles Manson?! That's amazing.

Freddie Gage - All My Friends Are Dead

I wonder if Wally Whyton had something to do with this....

Ken - By Request Only

"Stare louder. No, LOUDER!"

Animal Nation - Understanding More About Nothing Than Anybody Ever Thought Impossible or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Music

A 20 word title? C'mon guys, let's be realistic here.


Enjoy this? Make sure to check out BitchWaxCoverArt Vol. 2, as well as Vol. 3. Or read one our hilarious interviews on Ali Milner, Jiminy, or album art creator Taka Sudo!

Monday, January 5, 2009

Animal Nation Doesn't Know Anything.

At all.
Unlike Clarissa, who can apparently explain everything. Except for why she was such a tease. Sam was clearly lusting after her, and she'd go as far as letting him climb up a ladder into her room in the middle of the night to sleep in her bed with her, and he still never managed to walk home with her panties.
"Look at me! I've incorporated handcuffs into my wardrobe, but have absolutely no intention of using them! My name has more syllables than your name does! I know everything!"

Gotta love those up-beat early 90's "Na na na-na na-na!"'s.
The only thing better than "Na na"'s is "Do doo"'s.
I wish I could say I was a part of this remix, but this goes way beyond my level of awesome.

This just made my week.


Live in Studio - "Untitled_0074"

How is everybody?
Here's a video of us showcasing our non-rap talents, playing with loopers, and being totally porcupine in the process...

Don't forget to tell your friends, co-workers, and general surgeons about our upcoming album: "Understanding More About Nothing Than Anybody Ever Thought Impossible or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Music" which should be coming out around March of 2009!
Make sure to recommend us to your local music venues as well! We want to come party with you!

Have a nice day, folks.

Like this? Head over to our myspace page to see all sorts of other fun videos and rad things of interest...

A Diamond Cutter Cutter Lasts Forever.

They say life is short, but I can't think of anything I've ever done that's been longer.

Sometimes I wonder why if you have 'too much' of something 'too' has two "o"'s, but when you have 'so much' stuff, 'so' still only uses one "o".
Maybe we should put two "o"'s on 'so'.
That would be soo cool.

I also don't really know why "I" is capitalized, while "me", "you", "her", "him", etc, aren't. Although "Him" is capitalized when talking about God, so maybe, probably, "I" am God.

If skin is cut by glass, and glass is cut by diamond, and diamond is cut by a series of grinders and diamond cutters, what cuts the diamond cutters into their proper shape? And why wouldn't they just use the diamond cutter cutter to cut everything? And more importantly, who cut the cheese? That stinks.

Did you know that "Cutting the Mustard" means 'achieving something great'. This saying came the fact that both the mustard seeds, and the mustard plants are incredibly hard to cut. Maybe they should have been using diamond cutter cutters.


Wooden Roller Coaster w/ Ali Milner.

How are you?
That's enjoyable.
Listen: A couple weeks ago Mike and I invited the incredibly talented Jazz/Pop/All-Around-Amazing-Person Ali Milner over to record a song that was written sometime earlier this year to music sent to us from our good Germany friends, Nic & Jaq. What we all thought might take hours ended up taking less than one, and left us with a ton of great material to work with. We jammed, and she showed us a couple new songs she's working on, (prepare to be amazed whenever she gets a chance to record them!) and then she left, and Mike and I spent the next gillion hours playing around with everything we'd recorded.
The song is called 'Wooden Roller Coaster', and will be on our upcoming album 'Understanding More About Nothing Than Anybody Ever Thought Impossible' that we're hoping to put as soon as we can round up some cash.
Until then, here's a video of Ali Milner performing her song 'Crystal Clear' live at the Hard Rock Cafe in Toronto! (Listen to our track 'Wooden Roller Coaster' on our myspace page now!)


Animal Nation Interview w/ DJ Dredi of London. (That's where the Queen lives!!)

Here's a quick interview that we did with DJ Dredi. He asked us questions about making music, and we gave him christmas gift suggestions and told him about our fascination with gasoline.
Read all sorts of other fancy interviews and other nifty notes by checking out Dredi's BLOG by clicking on the word in which I am currently talking about. (hint: The word is BLOG.)

Animal Nation, which is made up of Steige "Tall Man" Turner, and Mike "Armadillo Slim", respectively.

Location: Whistler, BC

Affiliates/Groups: DJDREDi, Mat The Alien, ali milner, Muddled, Nic & Jaq, Linus, Scamp, Hunchback Esquire, Milla, Invisible Think, DJ Millz, Samix, The Red Fox, and more.

Describe your music in 5 words: Steige: A-hippa-to-the-hoppa.Mike: With a touch of awesome.

When did you start making music?: Together, about 4 years ago. 2004. Separately, we've both been making music another 4 or 5 years on top of that.


Steige: The women! Whenever I was younger I always figured that if I
spent enough time in my basement learning how to write and rap and play
instruments, then one day I might impress some nice young lady, and she
might let me give her a kiss, and then we might get married, and then
we'd live happily ever after! I always figured that seemed easier than
learning to socialize.
Mike: I always wrote poetry as a
kid and have had a passion for hip hop since as far back as I can
remember. I cant remember yesterday so thats not saying much but you
get the point. I wanted to put my lyrics over a style of beats that I
like so I learned to produce and havent looked back ever since. Trying
to live off this shit now.

So what are you currently doing?:
Steige: We're currently recording tracks for our upcoming album,
'Understanding More About Nothing Than Anybody Ever Thought Impossible,
or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Music.' We figure that
regardless how bad it comes out we can at least try to milk some
publicity out of the preposterously long name.
Mike: Filling out this questionnaire you big silly!

Any shows coming up?:
We just got back from a 13 city tour with the ultra amazing 'Jiminy',
across western Canada! And tomorrow we're heading out for 4 shows in
the next 4 days in: Vancouver, 2 nights in Washington, and then back up
to Whistler. Then at the end of the month we're going out to New York
for a party! That should be fun.

Tell us something we didn't already know about you?: Steige: I thoroughly enjoy the smell of gasoline.Mike: Mike hates it when people talk in third person.

Anything else the world should know?: Mike: A severed leg makes for a wonderful stocking stuffer.

You can download our latest release, the TimeZone [EP], for free, for FREEEE!!!!! by going to our MySpace page.
Get there quick before we're forced to axe your legs off!
Oh my!!

Word up to Dredi for conducting this Question Rhyme.

Like this? Make sure to check out the Interview I Conducted on Myself, or our wildly entertaining Interview With Jiminy! Wild.