The People's Champ. The creator of the "World Famous Sex Buffet". The reason I stopped listening to 50 Cent.
Josh Martinez was the dood that taught me that it's cool to be myself, or rather, it's 'cool' to be uncool, or more so, cool or uncool, tall or short, good looking or red-head-ugly, step up on a 5' high stage and you will get laid.
If it weren't for Josh Martinez, Animal Nation would most likely be fitting in with the popular crowd, writing songs about cool cars, hoes, and guns, selling out to anyone and everyone, and actually making some cash.
Hit up the Josh Martinez myspace to listen while you learn!
Steige: Do you have any cats? How many cats does someone have to have before they're considered "a crazy cat person"?
Josh Martinez: No cats. No animals that could die when I'm gone for three weeks at a time. I have a series of close friends that I call on to keep my 15 plants alive while I'm gone. That's enough of a struggle.
S: Listen: It's the apocalypse. There's a huge meteor the size of Texas headed straight for Texas. The Four Horsemen have arrived and they're hungover as heck and totally not looking to party. Satan shows up in your backyard, ready to destroy our planet and everything we've ever known, but he's willing to turn it all around if you can impress him with one of your songs. He's only interested in your music, and he's only got 3 minutes and 34 seconds of free time. Which Josh Martinez track are you going to use to blow Satan's mind?
If that's too much pressure you can also tell him a joke, I guess. But it has to be a joke of your own invention, and it has to involve bunny rabbits.
JM: I guess, for both myself and fans of the Josh Martinez, I'd probably play "Just a Dood", because that has been the song that people most seem to relate to. It also is the song that kind of became a bigger hit for me as time went on, with more action happening as a result. But if it's the devil, maybe it makes more sense to play him "Bobby Loveable", a song about boobs and my love for them. It's an apocalyptic toss up I suppose.
S: We invited you up to Whistler to rock a show with us a couple years ago. After the show we were hanging out back at our place and I remember you commenting on the fact that almost all the guitars we had were out of tune. If we were able to travel back in time and properly tune those same guitars would you have been able to shred a sweet lullaby on one of them? I guess a much more simple version of the same question would be: do you play any instruments other than your voice?
JM: I can fuck around with synths here and there, and I do a fair amount of recording layering tricks, but I'm not instrumentally inclined per say. I used to mess around with guitars in my college days, mostly to get girls, but I played so poorly, I got no love from ladies. Stray cats were down for a tumble though.
S: What is your favorite non-pizza pizza topping? I mean, what might we find on your favorite fantasy pizza that we might not normally discover on a Dominoes Deep Dish? (ie-perogies, Kraft Dinner, a skyfish...)
JM: Donair meat. It's a Nova Scotian thing. Though in Nova Scotia, the donair comes in bite sized breakfast bites, and shows up on a fair amount of pizza slices, mostly cuz people ask for a slice with meat and sauce, which pretty much paralyzes your system into a grease induced coma, only to wake up throughout the night, gasping for breath, dry to your very core.
S: Yeah! Those things are rad! I ate them all the time when I was living in Hali! When I was 17-18 your song "Hobo's Lullaby" really made me want to hop the box car of a train and ride the rails to Anywhere But Here. Let's pretend I'd been less lazy and I'd taken that first step... After pieces of my body had been found in what would appear to have been a "Henry Lee Lucas" type of serial murder, and your cassette had been discovered in my Walkman, what would you have told a grieving father, and a mildly upset girlfriend?
JM: Without risk, there is no reward. Without trains, there is no hobo's chili. Without you, your girlfriend has a chance to find someone who can actually be somebody. I mean, what chance do you have with a good girl as a career rapper. Might as well become a D&D expert, competing at regional tournaments for who gets whose Staff of Poking +2.
S: Ohno! The main reason I wanted to become a rapper was to find a good girl! Because, you know, good girls and rap are so synonymous.... So besides the whole "destroying my dream of finding a wife through hip hop" thing, what keeps you awake at night?
JM: Insomnia. And gas. I get pretty gassy. But I'm also lactose intolerant so eating ice cream before bed is baaaad. And the economic crisis in America. Actually that doesn't affect me at all 'cause I don't have any assets. Its hard to lose when you got nothing.
S: What was the weirdest recording experience/tour experience you've ever had?
JM: There are so many. I almost made out with Jamie-Lynn Sigler. I could have been turtle. She was at my show (Atmosphere's show I was opening up for) in Los Angeles, with some really slutty and angry girlfriends, and since I was on the bill, I thought I'd let her know that she could check the show from the sidestage. She spilled her drink on some dude, he punched the sluttiest of the girlfriends, and shit tore the fuck off. She was whisked away as the fight grew to 40 people swinging at randoms, then shots licked off, and then the show was done. I hadn't even performed yet, but I think Meadow Soprano caught feelings for me.
S: I heard through the grapevine that God was looking to replace Rainbow Spokesman 'Roy G. Biv'. What colors would a rainbow hold in store for us if the acronym was changed to Josh Martinez?
JM: Take back the rainbow. That's my motto. I love the gays, but why do they get the rainbow? Now I can't have all the colors of the visible spectrum, and some of the invisible ones, without being into bum sex with men? This shit stinks, and i'll get to the bottoms of it.
S: Is it common knowledge that 'Roy G. Biv' stands for 'red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet', which make up the colors of a rainbow?
JM: Not as common as the knowledge that 'DR. and Mrs. Vandertramp,' is the acronym for all the irregular french verbs that use Etre as their conjugation instead of Avoir. Descender, revenir, monter, sortir, etc...I am killing this interview.
S: Ah wow, you just brought me right back to grade 10 French class. I think I gotta go repress these memories... any last words?
JM: Check out the "World Famous Sex Buffet", my new album that has been the most successful Canadian rap record in history. I also have a new album with my side group: The Chicharones, called "Swine Country". It's out now on Camobear Records, the record label I own and run.
Right on, right on.... Well, besides destroying all my dreams and giving me flashbacks of high school I'd say this interview went pretty good! Make sure to check out Josh Martinez's latest video featuring Classified & Skratch Bastid - "Goin' Back to Hali" at the bottom of this page!
And in a rare moment of seriousness, this interview actually was a huge honor. Josh Martinez was, and is, one of my bigger influences when it comes to making music, and was also my gateway drug into underground hip hop.
If you liked this make sure to check out our interview with Mat the Alien, or Jiminy, or watch everyday normal things come to life with The Magic of Googly Eyes, right after you watch this...
Josh Martinez ft. Classified & Skratch Bastid - Goin' Back to Hali